Why is it so effing hard to be alone.  I love it here in this crazy city... surrounded by interesting people... doing a job that suits me and inspires me, even while sometimes driving me to abstraction.

And yet... there's just this nagging feeling of loneliness.

One good date... and then, no phone call... a few minor on-line interactions that leave me confused, feeling frustrated and needy and frustrated at myself for being so ridiculously needy. 

Is there something wrong with me? 

I mean... there are many things wrong with me... but am I fundamentally and fatally flawed?  Will there ever be someone for whom I am just not too much to handle?  I feel like I am always too much...

It's raining... and I am feeling very alone.

I wish I was a musician or a painter or even a real writer... I could pour my angst out onto the page in a variety of mediums and people would call it beautiful... cause then it would be art. Instead, I'm simply a sometimes blogger indulging in a little pity party. For which I feel a profound need to apologize.

I irritate myself.

So Xangaland... don't be mad... I still love you, but I have gone a little blog happy!

As I mentioned I started my teaching blog on Word Press... and if you aren't reading it... you should be!  I actually update it fairly regularly, and since it isn't blocked by the filter at school (which Xanga, sadly is)  I can post updates on those particularly crazy days in my classroom!  I like Word Press... it is just a little more streamlined than Xanga... but this blog remains my personal outlet.  :)  Those of you who still read get to hear me whine about all sorts of things... and I promise to continue whining to you all!

But... I started a third blog... I may be a little out of control.  I am just really getting into this whole running thing, and I wanted to chronicle it in blog form.. it seemed appropriate to have a blog dedicated solely to that purpose... those of you who think reading about my daily jogs will be mind-numbingly dull... you're probably right... but I am smart and witty, and I write reasonably well... so I will do my utmost to keep things entertaining.  Feel free to peruse that lovely blog at your leisure... or not! 

My non-Xanga blogs:

• http://educatorgetseducated.wordpress.com
• http://marathonhopeful.wordpress.com

On a more personal note... I had a glorious weekend last weekend... rife with borough hopping and good beer!  I saw a couple shows at a wonderful venue in the Lower East Side... and I was very happy.  I am making friends, and that is very satisfying.  I am glad I decided to plug in at Apostles, I am getting increasingly comfortable in that community, and I hope to continue growing in some of those relationships.

Also... I didn't blog about it here, I did a little on my teacher blog.  But I am very excited about the President Elect!  Watching those results come in last week was truly moving. I hope this signals a positive new direction for our nation. 

Oh... and in lighter news... I found a running buddy by posting on craigslist... his name is Chet.  Which for some reason, makes me giggle.  I am sure he is a perfectly lovely person (26 yr-old med student... can't be bad right?) but his name calls forth a whole litany of unflattering stereotypes... I am certain he fits none of them... but still I giggle.  We're meeting tomorrow at 6am for a run.  I guess then I'll know once for all... what makes Chet a Chet?